You know when you happen to read or see something that really resonates with you, and then suddenly, you notice it everywhere?
This happened to me recently with the concept of courage. A couple of months ago I was reading ‘Who the F*ck am I to be a Coach?!’ by Megan Jo Wilson, and in it she tells the reader to “build a mansion for your doubts and fears and let them get comfortable. This is courage. Courage is not moving forward without fear, it’s experiencing the fear and moving forward anyway.” Having read ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers, this concept wasn’t particularly new to me, but for some reason it really resonated. At the time, I was still operating in the land of “everything needs to be in place before x can happen”, but the problem is, ‘everything’ is almost never in place.
The longer we wait for everything to be ready, the longer we create a breeding ground for unhelpful messages to thrive. Like “this needs to be perfect”, “what if no one likes it?”, or “what if I’m secretly a fraud?”. Now, I’m not saying that we need to completely irradiate those thoughts. Being uncomfortable can be important and useful when it helps us move forward, but when we bombard ourselves with these messages, not only do we stop taking action, but we start to believe that deep down we’re ‘no good’.
As someone who’s often let fear dictate my decisions in the past, I know how hard it can be to show courage, but here’s a quote from Brené Brown’s new Netflix special ‘The Call to Courage’:
“Vulnerability is hard and it’s scary and it feels dangerous. But it’s not as hard or scary or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves: What if I would’ve shown up? What if I would’ve said ‘I love you?’ What if I would’ve come off the blocks? Show up, be seen, answer the call to courage and come off the blocks. Because you’re worth it—you’re worth being brave.”
Powerful stuff, no? This is one of the reasons I love coaching. It provides me and the people I work with a safe space to air out those negative messages, and then confront them. “I’m not good enough” becomes “I’m a work in progress”. “That will never work” becomes “lets try it out and see what happens”.
What have you been putting off because those messages seem just too strong? Send me a message, I’d love to hear from you!