I’ve been spending a lot of my time over the past few weeks focusing on connecting with people with chronic pain, building my business, coaching, and general personal development. It’s been interesting to find out about different perspectives and ideas I knew nothing about. My mind is being regularly blown as it were. I’ve felt excited to finally have something I feel so passionately about and that I want to learn so much about. In the past and certainly in traditional educational settings, I learnt just enough to pass, or just enough to do well, but I didn’t retain any of it. It’s brilliant when you find something where you feel like you want to learn.
There was, however, a huge part of me that was thinking “oh my God, I know so little!”, “I need to hurry up and read that book”, and “I need to add that section to my website or I won’t be taken seriously”.
When we find out what we want, and we want it intensely, it puts pressure on us to get it, fast! This can be motivating, but we have to check in with ourselves about how we feel about the journey to achieving it. This is exactly where I found myself over the last few days with my business. I want it so badly and I’m so excited by it, that I have been feeling terribly impatient! Perfect time for a mentoring session.
After hearing a long-winded explanation about how stuck I felt and how I “just needed to lose more weight so I can post videos”, my mentor mentioned the beautiful concept of “embracing that we know nothing”, and “there is no such thing as a finished product”. It was like the weight had lifted, metaphorically of course. Yes, I want to learn more about the connection between trauma and chronic pain, absolutely I am interested in understanding transactional analysis, and of course I’d love to do a masters in psychology, but the beauty of “there is no such thing as a finished product” means that there will always be more I can learn, there will always be more I want to improve, and there is no magic right answer that I need to be reaching so desperately for.
Now, I have about 300 TED Talks and self improvement videos on my YouTube ‘watch later’, I have approximately 70 books and counting on my ‘to-read’ pile, and I have a long list of ideas and actions on my ‘to-do’ list, but do you know what’s more important? That I check in with myself about the ‘why?’. Am I rushing through this book because I impatiently want to have read it already? Am I really going to ingest the true meaning from this podcast by listening to it in the background whilst I’m trying to reply to emails? By cramming this free training into my lunch break, am I really learning?
Letting go of my impatient impulses is something I’m going to work on, and because I’m a work in progress, that’s absolutely fine. Just keep going, keep learning, keep wanting.
When do you feel most impatient?